Coffee stories

Give me tea(ok a lot of tea) and we will be such good friends you'll be surprised :-) :-) that's what tea is/was to me,my source of every day happiness. I have considerably cut down my tea intake for reasons like tea is fattening!!!!, sugar and milk is bad for you people…………………………..and  started drinking green tea which in theory is supposed to help in burning body fat and has a lot of health benefits, some months of drinking it, I do not notice any burnt fats but maybe inside all the fat is gone :-).

I love tea all sorts of it, apart from iced tea  and because I am me and I have a story behind almost everything here goes the iced tea story……………………………..One random day I decided to pass by my brother's work place and say hi, he decides  aibu za kupiga story kwa ofisi haewezi, apparently you just cannot finish your stories (5 minute story) at his work-place and the way I was prepared to  pretend I’m there on business if the need arose, I could pull a potential customer act very easily :-) inquiring about business products in case his colleagues passed by, but he refuses to trust my acting capacity. Lucky me on this account as  it meant free drinks and food(read cakes), I decided to try iced tea.I live in very hot places so cold town and very cold drink honestly my body faced the risk of shrinking from the sudden change in temperature and freezing liquid being fed to it and to make matters worse I sat directly under the AC!. I got so cold to a point I started shivering (it was that bad) and Murshid laughed so hard at me and my weirdness.

Coffee is the drink you drink when meeting up with the peeps who live in the city under the sun because  apparently they only meet over kahawa and never chai (why?) and since I have become a ka-small celeb, my village stories are so interesting people buy me cakes to hear them :-) :-) (if wishes were horses or in this case free cakes, I would be one happy person) this is not true(that I have suddenly become interesting to listen to), during these cake eating hang-outs, I have to find interesting things to add to conversations outside village stuff and therefore mostly I listen and laugh.Also I am a home-body and rarely go anywhere but sometimes I take the trouble and go to tao (always tao never anywhere else, again why??) to go drink coffee,eat cake and mostly laugh with some peeps that can make anything a story and a funny one at that, as a result of which I have had my fair share of coffees mostly lattes which are really just tea, then I discovered smoothies :-) :-) and the joy they can bring (life’s little pleasures) and basically bid coffee goodbye at said meetings and thanks to them, I found out what a Malindi Machiatto is :-)..........................There is this person on facebook that posted this picture a while ago and captioned it Malindi Machiatto is bae.

And sometimes I just understand things wrongly, so when I saw this picture  I thought that she went to Malindi,drank a machiatto and the said machiatto is Bae ( and I remember thinking what is this?? And how do I have friends who say things/people are Bae.This word is too new school ama? ) and that was end of this..................................Then I found out Malindi Machiatto is a drink that you can actually drink in Nairobi,see what living in the bundus does to you, you become the person who gains new knowledge from menus and its not bae, nothing close because apparently bae is the new equivalent of love.

I have some friends(1 friend really) who LOVES coffee and tell me things like iced Mocha is the real deal,when I told her my iced tea story and the argument of tea and coffee were always meant to be drank hot so why start this iced tea,iced lattes,iced mochas thing and at home chai ikabaki kwa birika nobody drinks it until it warmed, but she informs me that iced Mochas are meant to be drank in Mombasa where its hot and you are there feeling all touristy(her exact words) and because she lives in Coasto I'm sure she knows what she talking about, but what about all these people living in cold places drinking iced mochas are they committing a crime against those who came up with this iced tea and iced coffee idea??

Outside all this fancy variations of coffees there is Espresso!!!!! The real kahawa tungu.If you ever wanted to pull an all-nighter drink this coffee you will stay awake the whole night as in no sleep at all!! and you’ll realise that 1 hour at night is like 5 hours during the day and that they are people who are online at 3 am at night, you will see them online and will not dare chat because you do not know what's keeping them up at that time because it can't be to do random chats on WhatsApp.

Lesson to this story (trust me it wasn’t pointless) if you are not a coffee drinker stay away from black bitter coffee served in really small cups and especially if it’s in the evening and that iced drinks that are variations of drinks normally drank hot are to be taken in coasto when you are there and feeling all touristy.