Ramadhan Tales

In-case any of you hasn’t noticed Ramadhan is just flying by, Day 13 and it feels just like yesterday when me and my neighbour were doing pre-Ramadhan shopping, me mostly nothing and her a lot of stuff because in addition to seeking forgiveness for my sins, Allah’s mercy and a lot of dua for all crazy sort of things.Allah I know all those things I have been asking for are like an atom(even smaller) to you please provide them for me. I figured I will eat less and healthier to try and put down some weight hence no Samosas and all those foods associated with the holy month, just healthy stuff, have I stuck to this mostly I have but sometimes I treat myself for being so disciplined in what I eat and in the past 12 days, how many treats……….just enough to keep this lie to myself that I can live without sugar and ‘unhealthy’ food.

I have made a discovery(yes one like the one Newton did when the apple fell on him) and this could be the only logical reason as to why I have put on  all this weight and its that I have a very slow metabolism or maybe I just eat too much at night(let’s just go with former). Suhur ends just before 4 am as the adhan is at 4 am quite early as compared to other places I know, mostly I’ll make sure I drink enough tea because I would not want to start dealing with how heavy my head gets when I haven’t drank enough tea but get this I haven’t gotten hungry or thirsty in any of this 12 days how epic is that!  But I drink like a whole jug of juice every night (glutton much). The guys in the office on the contrary are having a somewhat difficult time I think judging from how their faces starting looking after Dhuhur prayers you can see the thirst on their lips and they look so tired (I joke) , they always say the way the fast is being difficult on them and me I’m just sitting there looking like well not hungry/thirsty and one of them asks me ‘what do you eat and drink for Suhur’ now I have graduated into a foods to eat for Suhur advisor(my skill set man! is over and beyond awesome :-) ) but If I say I drink loads of water and tea without sugar(keeping within my diet) would they believe me I think  no, So I say just take a lot of tea it will keep you awake through the day  and they keep on asking are you sure you are fasting, at this point I figure where this conversation is going is not too good and I pack my bag and go home.................I’m amused at the question 'what do you eat for Suhur?' I’m sure they think like 5 plates of rice and a whole Tarmush of tea Poor me my image is being killed.

Today I come into work and one of the guys the first thing he tells me after the usual greetings is 'yesterday I slept through Suhur'. Yikes its going to be a long day for him but you never know he might just discover that if he eats less at night then chances are he will not get hungry during the day as the body will slow down to conserve the little food within it.

Here is to future fathers.

I made a promise in my head to write about my brothers on any day that celebrates men and yes although a few days late  here goes to future fathers :-).There are many fathers in waiting I know but the 3 I can truly look into my crystal ball and tell what kind of father they might turn out to be are 3 very dapper gentleman, ok  2 gentlemen and one small boy who are also known as my brothers.To protect their privacy(the way I have always wanted to say this:-) ) I will call them, the Bauss, the Baller and the Baby. These future readings are based on if all factors remain as they are because with the kind of talks I hear nowadays from the Bauss 'unajua kuna rafiki yangu alikuwa akiniambia venye yeye hu make sure anaenda home after food ishapikwa kwasababu bibi ataanza kum-tumatuma na hataki wazoeane hivyo!' clearly he is spending time with some bad company.

The Bauss:He will be a father who will be hands on and does all those thing men frown upon like changing diapers and  all, that is if these chauvinistic friends he is hanging out with currently don't spoil him, he is a gentle soul and when he was younger and less busier would always pick me when I came to Nai and help me run my many errands then, but  these days you call him and his like tupatane jioni he has shughulis :-) :-) but that's part of what is called growing up I guess.He takes care of Sokor and baby sits on weekends when Mresh needs to  go out.There was this one time we lied to him and left him with Sokor for a whole afternoon, we were thinking he will be so angry when we came but we found him teaching her how to walk(he is a star like that). He will be the entertainer there is no one who knows series and movies like this guy, he has watched so many and makes a list(mental list) on new ones to watch, he knows celebs you don't even know exist plus he calls them by their true name like Lucious's personal assistant on Empire he finds her hilarous for some reason and when she comes on he starts laughing and imitating her walk  while saying 'aki Gaby Sidibe'.He is deeply in love with Beyonce so we know he knows a good thing but most importantly he loves children and will make a wonderful father :-).

The Baller:What to say about him all the street knowledge us guys missed on he some how got.When he was in high school he was games captain(or team captain) mostly I think team captain no ways he made prefect with all his drama and since making the team is such an important thing to high school boys because it means going for out of school events to Moi girls :-) :-), boys will beg him to put their names on the list and he will ask them to bribe him, and they did by buying him supper everyday at Oscars.He has done all the games football,volleyball,handball and he currently is a high flying basket baller at his college.They say parents do not have favourites but hands down my mum loves him more than anyone else and laughs at his jokes like he is Erico! and whenever his home he is her number 1 choice for going to tao with.He cooks(as well as a guy can cook) and is the guy who'll come and help you make mandazis in the morning by removing them from the oil and encourages you when lunch is like 2 hours late...........na hiyo food inanukia when everyone else is cursing you.What kind of father will he be the typical dads I guess,disciplines the children and you know the dad you'll send your mum to tell things on your behalf.

The Baby:He is our ka-last born who is taller than everyone except for the baller.He has been babied his whole life and his role model is the baller.........'unajua pia mimi hucheza basket ball' has to be one of his favorite things to say, plus he buys clothes and makes reference to the baller,niko na jeans kama ya Hemedy and sometimes they do these dances like they'll dance to P-Unit's Weka Weka and Baby will chocha (they always say wacha kujichocha or unanichocha or some variation of this word) Baller hata akina Bilal(my cousins) wanakushinda and this will I think inspire them to practice more.He might turn out to be one of those very soft dads (those who let their children get away with anything) dude has never been reprimanded in his whole life.The only person who maybe sometimes reprimands him is Mresh(what will do without her). There was this time he got into mischief in school and was suspended and when he came home  he started saying, I don't know the teachers hate him and all and he doesn't want to go back to that school well me and my mum figured enyewe ka-mtoto analia na kukakata kurudi shule lets just transfer him but Mresh was like hakuna venye mtaharibu huyu mtoto hata afadhali angekuwa dame anaweza cheza na mwisho ataolewa, but sa boy na anataka kuoa hawa warembo yeye huchat nao..................to cut along story short he was taken back to his former school and now he works hard and when I want to make fun of him I start saying 'unacheza na we ni boy hata afadhali ungekuwa msichana.................'. What kind of father he will be truth be told he is still finding out who is his so lets wait another maybe 5 years like this.

Of adult education and an exam

Adult education is supposed to draw from the past experiences of the learners and build on that right? Because they are coming in with a lot of knowledge that even the teacher might not have,If my memory is not playing tricks on me this is what us guys(Hii!!! Laikipia campus peeps, yes I know none of you read this) were told when we did the unit on adult education.So what happens when you are to attend a training that has exams plus a manual that is 159 pages that you are required to read and have in mind up until the exam period and pass mark for this exam is 65%  yes 65% this is like 5% below an A, a pass is supposed to be 40%.The manuals were sent 1 month in advance, did I look at mine prior to coming to the training like maybe the first 20 pages and figured I know these thing what!!!!!!  kuna vile I over-estimated myself and the things I thought I knew.

  
So day 1 and you get into groups and as fate will have it I get into the loudest group, We are four, one who has done all his pre-reading 3 times over and answers like each and every question so forever putting attention on our table, one who well is not ready to change his perceptions and to quote him ‘What? are we not supposed to question this manual and take every concept like small children taking food from their mother and are not allowed to ask for additional salt or sugar?’(read in a deep South African accent)  and the remaining 2 (me included) have not really touched the manual, I guess both of us are planning to wing it and just use what we think we know from our past, we are very adult after all and we are supposed to bring our own experiences and perceptions right? But as we will find out, we will be required to forget/disregard most of what we thought we knew and use what is in the manual and only that.

The training days were nice with a lot of laughter, cakes, some ice cream and yes a lot of learning/unlearning old things (I think) but the effort to ensure your mind does not wander out of the room to think of other things is huge (or does this happen to only me) .All of us in the group I was in feared that there was a chance that we might fail the exam but especially the 2 culprits who did not do the required pre-reading. My boss has a fun side to him, I guess chances are in the unfortunate event that I maybe get 64% he would see the light side of it(or maybe not) plus if I failed I could always say I passed :-) but be vague on numbers,this other guy is a technical advisor and with big titles come equally big fear of failure I learnt. Come exam day TA guy is in full panic mode, you have never seen panic on someone’s face, it’s too hilarious, then just before the exam starts he points at some guy and says ’this guy (some guy from the group sitting next to us) has finished his whole bottle of water and it’s like 10ish and to make matter funnier he goes like he!!!!  things are thick we need risk mitigation measures. Me I’m doing all that is possible to not laugh out loud.................Happy news is people passed :-) :-).

So after the exam at lunch people talk about how well they did and all, plus how they are never coming for trainings that have exams ever again and if they are invited they’ll just say they are too busy and coming for said training will disrupt them from completing work in time!