Ramadhan Tales 2

There is this video doing rounds on social media and it  features Jamila Mohamed(NTV) and other people on it(boda boda guy,doctor,housewife....) and its about their various jihads and all of them say how what they do for a living is their Jihad(I can't trace the video so I cannot exactly quote any of them). My question is how is where you get sustenance your jihad, its more of a blessing and something you should be grateful for. Jihad if I'm not wrong means fighting for your religion and the biggest jihad has to be jihad between you, what is right and what is wrong and for me music has to be my BIGGEST jihad. I have tried to stop listening but all in vain, I deleted all the music on my phone on two separate occasions(once I deleted then I downloaded a lot more music and then deleted them again) ,not having earphones because this will help as you would not want to make noise for people there no earphones= no music right? mostly no, but nothing works I keep on going back :-(

Music is my happy place.I feel sad I listen to happy songs.I'm happy I listen to songs,normal days I listen to songs.Sometimes I discover music I have not heard before like I found this J cole song 'crooked smile',Beyonce's 'Roc' and Eric Bennet ft Tamia 'Spend my life with you', beautiful beautiful music, since I'm patriotic :-) I listen to a lot of Kenyan artists  and I love the ones who actually sing( I'm told the genre of music they do is called neo-soul) I'm not one to listen to rap although I really like Jay Z despite this I only listen to like three songs Glory,Empire state of mind,Encore and his collaborations with Mrs Carter.

I find the kind of pop music that is the in-thing currently difficult to listen to! so yes I do not listen to Ed Sheran or Sam Smith.I stick with old artists I know and the only new act I listen to are 1D mostly because of Hazza.I love love their music and actually dreamt about Irresistible, I do not recall what went down in this dream but I remember I was singing Irresistible(no judgements allowed).There is a probable explanation for this though I have bookmarked the take me home album and listen to it a lot and the first song on it is Irresistible.

Hazza :-)

So with all this I guess I'm maybe beyond help.I made a goal this Ramadhan not to listen to any music for the whole month and to say the struggle is real will be an understatement.I even tried listening to Islamic music and here is the thing the songs have beats and everything just like normal songs.Some days I have actually not listened to any music :-) :-) but today has to be the worst and its on a Friday. I figured one song would not be too bad and well lets just say 1 song led to many other :-(  .Anyone fighting something they cannot seem to stop? I surely hope I'm not the only one fighting this war!